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help me rewrite my Master level 7 essay for universuty
3500 worlds
needs critical thinking around my scenario and analysing the clinical incident
using Harvard reference
by 10th April
GUT FEELING-resite RM1.docx
This is what I wrote but needs changing
needs adding role perception liturater
and autonomous work around advanced Nurse practice
and this is the feed back
Thank you for your summative assignment Silviya, please find below your feedback and grading information, as per the MSc module marking criteria. You can also review the Rubric link.
Unfortunately, your work is not of the required standard to pass on this occasion. You have been offered a resit opportunity. Please review all this feedback and contact me for tutorial support prior to re-submission.
What you have done well:
– I can see you have tried to follow a reflective cycle as discussed in your formative feedback and tutorial
– Your work demonstrates knowledge on your topic area and highlights your experience and drive for patient safety frequently.
– You have clearly acknowledged and reflected on your thoughts and feelings.
– You have made some evaluative assessments of your practice for the case study and outcome.
– You have shown responsibility and independence for planning, conducting and evaluating your work, participating in the formative and tutorial.
What could be improved:
– The paper lacks adequate structure and organisation, with a lack of technical writing skills, and I find it difficult to grasp the argument you are making.
– Referencing and cross referencing is inaccurate, with errors notable
– Theoretical concepts have not been explored in relation to current evidence in your discussion.
– It is not written in a manner that clearly identifies what themes you intend to critically analysis
– You could have offered more analysis of your own limitations in practice and discussed these; this gives insight in to good rounded self-reflection and professional development
– At no point did you discuss how the other participants were feeling, or acknowledge how their experience, values, diversities or anxieties were impacting the incident you were reflecting on.
– Even when reflecting for our own personal development, we must consider how we come across to others, and how internal or external factors may be influencing a situation and our interactions.
– Be mindful of making sweeping value judgements in future assignments, I have highlighted a couple of these in your paper
– For further marks, discussion around any personal limitations that you may have, would have been good to see explored (some personal self reflection thoughts on your communication skills etc)
– As mentioned in my comments on your paper, this work is largely descriptive rather than critical analysis, and does not adequately address debatable view points.
– This work presents a slightly narrow range of views and evidence, and does not adequately explore alternative understandings or approaches.
– Your conclusions are not really reflective on your content, it reads almost as if you had made your conclusions before undertaking the reflection and any critical analysis of the evidence.
– I gave some feedback in the formative paper that has not been obviously adopted in this final summative paper, as the work remains largely descriptive, with structural issues for readability and referencing issues.
– There are some scattered spelling and grammar errors, but please know that these have not impacted your mark significantly. I did advise that you asked a friend of colleague to proof read your assignment for you after your formative submission, and I would strongly advise this again for any resit, perhaps someone who had undertaken academic writing/modules previously, in order to develop your MSc writing skills.
General Comments:
Lastly, in summary please note – through reading this I have a good sense that you are trying to reflect on your practice, and that this process will aid your professional development – so well done.
As mentioned in the comments, I have NO concerns on your clinical practice, I absolutely think you did the right thing and made the right decision, but this assignment is about achieving a level of academic critical thinking and evidence analysis, and you are going to need to further develop your academic MSc writing skills to achieve this.
Please don’t be disheartened, give this another go, I am happy to meet with you to go through the feedback and support you for a resit submission next semester.
Presentation and Product (3/10):
Knowledge and Perception (10/25):
Diversity (4/10):
Critical Analysis (9/25):
Creativity (8/20):
Evidence of Learning (4/10):
1st Marker:
= 38/100 marks
= 38% Resit
Senior Lecturer – OBU
Second Marker Vicky MacArthur

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